walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
