have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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