you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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