Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24

(1-586): View more from Michigan

Sounds like a baby waitign to happen

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(704): View more from North Carolina

oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess

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(954): View more from Florida

i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour

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(651): View more from Minnesota

After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive

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(410): View more from Maryland

Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"

(1-410): View more from Maryland

How come I never meet celebrities?

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(907): View more from Alaska

I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....

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(386): View more from Florida

And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur

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(614): View more from Ohio

Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.

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