Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize