Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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