Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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