I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
