NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
