What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
