I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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