i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
