How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she pinky promised me she was 18
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
BRING THE BAGELS
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
