there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
