We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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