wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
