I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
