Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
