awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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