is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So vagazzling was a success
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
