It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just had sex on a roof
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
