You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
