u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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