Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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