i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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