I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize