I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
