Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
