we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
