i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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