Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
