man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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