Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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