he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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