20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I love you.
Bad choice
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