I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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