I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
