How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
And then he peed in my hair
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