I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
