I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
