she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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