i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
