are you so shy because you have an std?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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