slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
