If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
