So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
