so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
did i walk over a car last night?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
