good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
