So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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