He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can you repeat that, but with context?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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