How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington†of vaginas.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
