I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
