Is it normal to miss your booty call?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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