After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I need water and some morals
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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