Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
