I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
