He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
