I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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