if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
