To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize