I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
