Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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