To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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